A Short History of Breasts
Breasts were first sighted in the 1950s with exponents such as Marilyn Monroe and Brigitte Bardot bringing them under the public gaze. Their prominence reached its peak with the DD revelations of the English actress Diana Dors, placing breasts at the heart of the culture ever since.
Breasts had been a closely guarded secret during the Victorian era, the Depression of the 1930s and the war that followed in the coming decade. Their appearance was more a revelation than a discovery, and the exposure in newsreels and photographs was widely welcomed.
Breasts have become the staple of TV commercials, newspapers, magazine covers and can be observed larger-than-life-size on the sides of London buses. Breasts are everywhere, so many pert breasts with erect nipples I imagine the marketing men like Oedipus must be tempted to pull their own eyes out with sheer overload. If there is another image to call upon to shift toothpaste, cars, breakfast cereal, earth-diggers, holidays in Dubai, well, they haven’t found it yet.
Breasts in History
Breasts have been popular all through history. Depictions of Aphrodite, Helen of Troy, Cleopatra and the divine maidens adorning Hindu shrines and Greek temples have all been provided with eye-catching breasts by artists in paint, clay and marble. The Madonna, not to be confused with our very own Madge, is not averse in icons to exposing a flash of milky white breast as she nurses the infant Jesus.
When the peasants cried out in the French Revolution that they had no bread, Marie Antoinette famously said: Let them eat cake. She was found guilty in 1793 of ‘incest and organizing orgies at Versailles.’ She stood, corsets tightened in the dock, breasts shiny as two buttery brioche. I’m certain the judge would have enjoyed burying his head in those downy mounds, but he sent her to the guillotine because beautiful breasts are a joy and an affront to those who would like to get their hands on them and can’t.
Men love breasts. They suckle on them as babies They breathe in the scent of lactating females and the fragrance is an addiction that lasts until they are decrepit old men still lusting after virgins, as we know from Death and the Maiden.
Girls become fascinated by their breasts as they rise like cup cakes from flat chests. You feel pins and needles, twitches and tingles. You stare into the mirror and can almost see this butterfly change taking place. As your breasts push out, your hips become rounded. Your tummy flattens. Your legs grow longer and you suddenly don’t want to climb trees anymore.
Breasts as Icons
Like Marie Antoinette, Marilyn and Brigitte, as soon as you have breasts, you feel a furtive inclination to display them. Birds fan out their feathers. Chimpanzees wiggle their bums. Female fish shoot out clouds of eggs in random places hoping a passing stranger fish will come and fertilize them. Girls’ fingers as if with minds of their own can’t resist unsnapping a few extra buttons.
There was a moment in the 1960s when the models Twiggy and Jean Shrimpton flew the flag against bounteous breasts. But the fad passed and girls are now less likely to be burning bras than stretching into a Wonderbra. Corsets are back in style, and for girls who believe size matters, there is always the surgeon’s knife – not that I am advocating implants.
Breasts confirm that a girl is ready for mating, ripe as fruit eager to be plucked, as Shakespeare probably said. Since the beginning of time, Homo sapiens have pondered the meaning of life. If we are here at the will of a Divine Creator, that Creator wants us to generate more souls to save. Our primal role is to continue the species and, whichever way you look, the icon of reproduction is breasts. Enjoy.
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