Romance writer Chloe Thurlow

Literary romance

Why Spanking Girls is the Pleasure of all Pleasures

French philosopher Georges Bataille describes spanking girls as ‘the illicit pleasure of all pleasures.’

When a hand comes down again and again on your bottom, the sting is quickly followed by a prickling numbness. The pain vanishes and the heat generated from those slaps sends lines of electric fire through all the tissues and nerve endings, ripples of warmth that gather in a wave of sensations, a million tiny kisses that lap over your clitoris and take you to a breath-taking orgasm. That’s why girls like spanking and spanking girls is a unique pleasure.

Someone new to spanking girls does not release this fount of ecstasy, but inflicts an agonizing burn that hurts for days when you sit down. A heavy handed spanker leaves bruises and the triumphant finale of the big O is the ghost in the haunted house that fails to appear.

Spanking girls in an activity that should only be pursued by mutual consent. That established, the spanker must know the posterior he’s about to spank like the palm of his own hand. He must adore those domes of pink flesh, each slap with his spread fingers a caress that warms the skin and spreads through and subcutaneous tissue immediately below the dimpled surface. The spanking must be steady, rhythmic, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, moving from one area to another until both cheeks glow with a rosy bloom that lights the charge and sends the electric message to the restless clitoris.

The best position for spanking girls is over the knees in such a way that your fingertips and toes just touch the ground and your bottom is at an angle that makes it easy for the spanker to maintain a metronome beat. There is something overwhelmingly feminine being exposed in this way, breasts full and pendulous, eyes pressed shut, your mind clear and your body free to plunge into absolute sensation.

Spanking Girls & Spanking Boys

Spanking is about pleasure, not pain, and contemporary couples of my acquaintance swap positions so that she has a turn at spanking and he submits to her loving hand. He does not have a clitoris, of course, but an erection heated by a good spanking is firmer and lasts long into the night.Spanking girls image

Whipping, caning, chains, restraints, the cat-o’-nine tails and many other devices of pain so beloved of the Marquis de Sade are a whole other ball(gag) game, and are employed in more extreme sado-masochistic relationships. Everyone to their own. But a nice, warm, friendly spanking never did anyone any harm.

In his book Eroticism, Georges Bataille says there is an innate gratification in falling from grace, that the supreme pleasure of love is illicit love, a feeling that you are doing wrong. Spanking girls and being a girl receiving a spanking captures that feeling, that beyond the pleasure enhanced by the pain is a sense that you are being just a little bit wicked.

Opinions? Please leave them in the COMMENTS BOX below – there are no silly puzzles, no doors with fuzzy numbers on them, no need to join the site – although, if you do, you can download FLIGHT 69 for free. Happy spanking – and read on if you want to know why sex every day is good for your health.

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77 Discussions on
“Why Spanking Girls is the Pleasure of all Pleasures”
  • I am sure Chloe is right, she usually is, but it is a question of convincing your girlfriend. I will print the article out and give it to her in a romantic moment..

  • I once met a woman who said she loved pain, the stronger the better, but is it really possible to enjoy pain? I mean, can someone receive great pleasure from strong pain, they must be able to, but it’s really hard to understand. Mild pain is different, especially when one is restrained because it’s the feeling of being vulnerable that is erotic.

  • If I had a buck for every time I tried to give a girl a spanking I could buy a house down by the lake that takes my fancy. It´s happened a couple of times, the girl presenting her cheeks for my hand, and it always ends in the most delicious sex ever. Girls, take a chance, bend over and wait for the hand. You will love it.

  • The very idea of being spanked has never appealed to me, but I must say, you do make it sound appealing…those 1000 tiny kisses. How delicious.

  • How does a person even approach this in a conversation with someone? It seems that it could get dangerously out of control; there are so many deranged people in the world. But how would I know? I never tried … probably will not.

    • Ken, if you do try, be gentle, the spanks are actually just slaps that warm the area until, to quote India Reid, you, or rather she, is “Floaty, lightheaded, euphoric and of course, wet as all hell.” I know the feeling.

  • Never had what I would call a spanking session. I have spanked the wife during sex, but never more than as light accompaniment to sex, rather than a long foreplay or exercise in itself. The idea fascinates me though, as does a lot of BDSM stuff that I am currently looking into. I will probably go armed with this and other material to the wife at a suitable juncture to pursue it more.

    Thanks Chloe x

  • I’ve always felt like a good spanking leaves me a little… high, afterward? Floaty, lightheaded, euphoric and of course, wet as all hell. The very best experience: laying on my stomach, being kissed gently upstairs between brutal swats with a riding crop below… woof. Spanking girls, I definitely get. Spanking boys… not quite sold on that one yet. Lovely article, Ms. Thurlow (as always!) xx

      • “One need not deserve a spanking in order to need a spanking. And one need not a specific reason to punish if one just feels a compulsion to spank.” This sentence jumped out at me because it is so true. The descriptions are, in a word: perfect.

      • Hi Chloe,
        I’m Katie transgender.
        I’d like to say from my own experience that you are absolutely right. Being spanked is a pleasure, and not a punishment. It’s also hard to find a friend that can understand where you come from. But I’ve manage to find some who understand the pleasure is within the person being spanked. So talk with your friend and tell her or him how it makes you feel. Teach them Thank you Choe !

  • I’ve grown to love spankings harder and harder over the years. A bright red heated bottom that’s sore to sit on for a few days is my ideal spanking. Marveling at the changes in color over the next few days makes me wet as I re-live how they got there. Yum. My lover has fears of hurting me but will contact a friend well versed in delivering the type blows that set me aglow when I’m truly in need of a firm hand. Thinking of which, it’s time!!

  • Chloe, I recently spanked my wife playfully and I wasn’t sure how she would react but she seemed to enjoy it and playfully thrust your ass up for more. so I cam attest to any of the doubters women certainly do enjoy a good swat on the butt. I don’t do it hard enough too hurt too much, just a slight crisp slap and she loves it. Thanks for hints.

  • When men spank, they create the same problems they do with anal: too hard and too fast. The pain to pleasure ratio is a delicate balance requiring empathy. Women are empathetic by nature.

    Xoxox, Inggy

    • Ingrid has hit on an essential truth. Too hard and too fast. Sex is not an express train racing through the twilight, it is a sailing boat drifting on a gentle breeze.

      • Are we on a majestic sail boat made for the open sea where 2 people get to take a slow ride that never ends. Or in a 2 seat 100 pound rig that you carry yourself to the water? The big boat is safe and slow but you know how you are going to get there. The little sail boat may be dangerous and unpredictable but it only works if you totally trust the person you are with. I couldn’t chose which boat to take unless the relationship is new and needs to be explored and the relationship has not been qualified in some way. Could I spank? Yes, not to hurt someone, but as something to be explored.

  • Spanking to me is pleasure, even amongst the warm pain, which those amazing endorphins temper. Done right, it makes me feel sexy, desired and ready for other things.
    Wickedly good post..

  • Dear Chloe,

    this is so wonderfully erotic, the possibilities are so endless, and it is so much about everything I want to do with a girl, thankyouthankyou thank you for Being a Girl! and for sharing your private world of pleasure with me as though you were being intimate with me, you even let me in your bathroom didn’t you :P only naughty girls do that

    xoxo Randy

  • Great article, Chloe!

    My experience is that most women like spanking, even if they say they wouldn’t let a man slap them.

    I do believe that in most cases it is just a fake initial resistance so that she can tell herself later that she at least said no first. Countless time have I spanked a girl after hearing she saying “no” only to have them ask for more later.

    Guys and girl who aren’t trying it out are missing out big time!

  • This is such a common fetish I believe there is something primal, natural, almost instinctive about it. Women crave it and seek it out. Men, even ones that thought they would not like it, often admit to getting fully aroused by spanking a woman for the first time. It does not matter why. Just embrace it. http://virginiarue.wordpress.com/

  • “The illicit pleasure of all pleasures” I love a good spanking!
    Squeeeeeee!! As a new indy author I of course have many that I look up to. Authors and wordsmiths inspire me everyday. But when I get a message from someone I admire so greatly…someone whos prose and deliciously devious mind has openened my own and propelled me to be more creative…to push my own boundaries..well…there is no decorum when that happens! I say SQUEEEEE! Throw glitter into the air in celebration that my name is finally out there and pay it back in kind. Chloe Thurlow..you made my day! This calls for a spanking!!

  • Is spanking should only be with the hands or girls will like it if done with sex toys or a whip? Nice article indeed Chloe. XOXOXOXO

  • I was glad to see that you quote Bataille, he seems a bit less fashionable now, compared to maybe 10 years ago. These days everything has to be Deleuzean…sigh… I remember he said he was too pornographic for the philosophers and too philosophical for the pornographers, possibly because he was never a pornographer at all, but a genuinely erotic thinker.

  • I am inclined to agree. For me he became crucial in my reading of surrealism. He had been somewhat misrepresented by people trying to make him a post-modernist, making him an anti-surrealist, or the prime agent of a counter-surrealism, anti-Bretonian surrealism. This required a misrepresentation of both Bataille and Breton. Michael Richardson makes the point that for most surrealists they constitute the poles of the surrealist spirit. Although they started out as enemies, they became friends, and Breton explicitly invited Bataille to contribute to both the 1947 International Surrealist Exhibition, devoted to myth, and to the 1959 one, EROS.

    That exhibition set out certain pathways that were to be followed by many surrealists who could be seen as profoundly Bataillean as well as Bretonian, not one or the other, and a deeper than ever sense of eroticism flavours much of the creative work that ensued, including the ever-wonderful paintings of Toyen.

    I think the spirit of Bataille is found in all the work of Hans Bellmer, not just in those works that illustrate Bataille stories. I seem to be drifting far away from the business of spanking, but, as you will have surmised, these are subjects of passion for me…

  • Spanking has always been a mystery to me, but you describe it so well it feels erotic just reading your prose. I really love your website and will now try one of your books. Which one would you recommend, bearing in mind that erotica is not normally my thing?

  • Over the knee spankings are so much fun
    Myself I love both sides of spanking prefer to be spanked
    I like a hand warm up then then hair brush an then the paddle
    For an erotic spanking I like the well barrel position

  • One of my favorite recent spanking episodes had my lover lying on her stomach, sucking my cock, as I rhythmically spanked her ass and she rubbed her clit on the sheet. She squirted as she came.

  • It is not something I have ever done but you make it sound so wickedly delicious I can´t wait to try. Any willing partners out there, PLEASE email me and I will spank you gently.

  • You and your commentators make my own life seem shallow and really very dull. I have never considered spanking as part of a loving relationship and you make it seem so attractive I now regret the one time when the opportunity may have arose and I immediately rejected it. Oh, well, I’ll just have to continue reading your books, Chloe and get my kicks (or smacks) that way.

  • spanking is violence…we are a violent bunch…nothing wrong with that…its a fact…spanking is about domination and submission…its about what sex is….the giver the receiver the one that submits, the one that dominates…[unless one is a ”switch” of course]…this is not an academic discussion its a lived in one…most receivers in any relationship control the violence anyway, its for their pleasure in receiving, and the pleasure in giving them what they want so they can react…the beast in us knows this…so being understanding animals we enjoy ourselves as much as we can…as a literary person i find the ”common sense” in being a ”switch” the way to go…though it confuses some people…

  • I really enjoyed this post Chloe. Very informative and intellectual. Very nice insight and build up for the curious at heart too.

    To Randy- Sorry you have such a hard time finding a girl who likes her bottom heated up before the amazing sex. With all the women out there who profess to enjoying, wanting or are just curious about spanking one would think it would be easy.

  • You know..I’ve yet to have the opportunity…ever try this. Butt..(pun intended) I confess…..I didnt fall in love until not too too long ago, and although that is no more. I can’t tell you.. how for the first time in my life…I felt the desire for this man to at times want to totally submit ( thats not to say..I didnt equally enjoy the thoughts of myself…being a bit of the aggressor. But yes..the thought of being bent over him…knowing his eyes were on my “world” just feasting…and then having him (so much more experienced than I) being in total control…and ..spanking me…with perhaps a light tap hitting a little more sensitive area every so often. Ah, the thoughts of that alone are enough to almost make me feel aroused…….but yes….I would’ve loved for us to have gotten to that point. I wish things hadn’t turned out how they did…but I can’t deny I still fantasize about him…and about certain different scenarios..that (sigh)…might have been…

  • And one last thing — It being violent never occurred to. Just a “spank” hard enough to make my skin tingle..perhaps..making my cheeks blush, heightening the anticipation. Loving him being in control at that point in time.

    Whew…..(one of those kinds of sighs)

  • Hi Chloe, just read your article and of course, loved it!!!
    I also am a ‘writer’ and I began EXPLORING this subject and spanking was part of a new venue. Since 50 Shades of Grey a lot of mainstream women are exploring what the genre she wrote about is about.
    SPANKING and sexual arousal and better orgasm. I decided to use the internet to explore this SAFELY so i could gathering information on this subject and watch some videos. I was careful and slowly tested the water on this subject to see what it was all about. VIEWING of course and not doing, smile. I am a SAFETY FIRST Girl, lol.
    Actually what you are sharing CHLOE is spot on I frankly was surprised by the information listening to BEFORE interviews and AFTER interviews on a SITE on line i found. If this is done correctly according to them, it does bring a heightened added pleasure.

    whew… but with my own humor and point of view, I would prefer to be the SPANKOR vs the SPANKEE… LOL. Now i so can see myself as a DOMINANT kicking in. LOL. Well back to the pleasure and smiling side of how this might be and enjoy the ideas while i think about this further.

    Thank you Chlore, always a pleasure to read you and your mind stimulating blogs.

    Roshandra, warmly writing on http://chloethurlow.com/2014/09/twin-love/

  • This might be a bit of a naive question..but…

    Is it normal to want to be dominant and then also to submit – both sides of the fence…depending on how things are – at the time?

    I’m well versed in this subject so forgive me for not being able to articulate myself very well. I’m more of a right brained type of person, as they say.

    • With some partners we are naturally submissive, with others we are naturally more dominant. Each relationship seems to fall into ins own individual pattern. I think more and more when it comes to the pleasures of spanking, couples are trying it both ways, her-him; her-her; him-him. After 2000 years of mental bondage, we are climbing finally out of our chains – and then putting them back on again if we feel like it.

  • Roshandra, I don’t expect you to share all of your resources, but it might be nice if you’d share a link or two :D

    Just …curious

  • The best thing that happened in my life, literally, and I mean it, was the night I met a girl at a work dinner. Were both got a bit drunk on cheap wine. She then took me home to her flat. She took her clothes off, everything, and leaned across the arm of the sofa said two words – spank me. I had no idea what I was supposed to do, so I just started spanking her backside and she screamed out like she was having a permanent orgasm. I don’t know what the neighbours must have thought. Naturally, it turned me on, then we both had orgasms. Nights like that don’t come along often enough, that’s the only problem.

    • Chris, I could well have been that girl – or at least, the same happened to me when I was about 22, except it wasn’t me who said spank me, it was the guy who put me over the arm of the sofa and said: I’m going to spank you. I thought he was joking. But he wsn’t. He spanked me until I screamed with pain and then screamed with pleasure – something that has never happened again and I look back on now wondering if it really happened or I dreamned it and I have made the dream real. Either way, that spanked changed my life.

  • Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Chloe.

    Oh wow, Chris. Yeah…no clue here. Almost shocking the kind of way that’s making me smile, even still, though. (lol)

  • I just had to write a comment after reading this blog post, and bravo I loved this and it is so true.
    I love to be spanked, I also like the tawse, flogger, dragon’s tail and a few other specialised tools too.
    To be honest, don’t knock it until you have tried it and I think everyone should try it once ( at the very least)
    I have been caned a couple of times but still undecided about caning, but spanking, oh yes please :)

  • i spanked my wife’s bottom for the first time just one year ago ..she loved it so did i it’s hard to describe the pleasure from the spanker’s side of things but now i find myself saying i think you are a very naughty girl if you dont stop doing that i’ll smack your arse !! funny how she is miss behaving more than ever!!

  • This is such a good blog…and the replies and comments fascinating. I came into spanking late in life..and now have a regular and much younger partner..and she was completely new to the idea, and I offered to ‘coach’her…she agreed and 3 months down the line, she loves it…and the limits are rising each session. The secret is to start gently, softly, rythmically..and build. Wonderful….

  • I am a life long spanker of women’s bottoms. I I have given exquisite pleasure to many women as a ‘service spanker’, ie a man who offers his spanking services through the internet and advertising in adult shops and literature. I now live with one of my spankees, a much younger woman, although our spanking life tends to have slowed down. She doesn’t mind me spanking other women though, even coming sometimes to take pics. I am also very proficient with the rattan cane if anyone’s interested.

  • As a spanker of many years I can agree with the main theme. I’ve lost count of the number of bottoms that have been across my lap over a 50 plus year span, some only once, others many times. I would love some grateful soul to erect a fitting tribute on my gravestone, with a lovely naked bottom as a header. Ah well, we can dream………

  • SO I guess I am one of the fortunate men who had a relationship with a Spirited and independent woman, who actually enjoyed being spanked, by hand , OTK . She was very creative and had her own hand made, and very gentle instruments, that were soft , pliant and left redness but no marks. She awoke my dormant switch desire, and soon we were enjoying exchange. We moved to another State together as partners in love, and in homemaking… alas, after 5 years she decided to leave our relationship… we are still friends 10 years after that. I have not been able to encounter another relationship that embraces the gentle and firm art of very sensuous spanking. I miss that…

    • Tim, take my word for it (and Chloe’s I suspect) there are many women who love a good spanking. Admittedly it’s not easy to find them due to the rather idiosyncratic nature of our lusts, but they are out there.
      I find it’s either feast or famine in this area of interest. Sometimes I go for months without meeting one, other times there are too many to handle. I almost need a PA to arrange my spanking day.
      I’m slightly exaggerating of course, but if you join the spanking groups on Facebook, the UK-based website britishspanking.com, Fetlife and any of the yahoo groups that still exist, I’m sure your luck will change.
      FatherJon

  • i been dooing this foe years with my girls and my wife to, they think its abit funny and weird , but they allways agree. i have long suspected that they engoy it too, and not gust dooing it for me.i whold love to spank ypu, chlow.

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