Romance writer Chloe Thurlow

Literary romance

Sex Addict Cure Will Never Be Found – and who wants to?

Sex addict. I said this to myself as I gazed into the mirror. Then I said it again. Sex addict.

It is a dependence I have tried to fight – not always that hard – since I was eighteen and stripped naked for a photographer three times my age and had my first orgasm with long shadows chasing across the room and a movie camera filming the event.

I was an instant sex addict, an eager sex addict. I went through a shameful if blissful period of sex with strangers randomly met inkatie-boyd-in-spain bars, in elevators, once on the London Underground when I allowed an unknown man to slide his hands into my knickers and his fingers into my sex. He made me sopping wet between Sloane Square and Blackfriars before stepping out of the carriage licking his fingers at Monument.

It is generally thought that a sex addict suffers the disorder because they are never satisfied. This is a misconception. A myth. The sex addict is an athlete, orgasm the objective, sex your training regime. The relentless quest for sex is life on the highwire. Everything else is a safety net. Life without sex becomes a treadmill that takes you laboriously through one thing after another – waking, working, walking, eating, sleeping, buying shoes – forever waiting for the next gut-wrenching, heart-stopping moment of orgasmic climax.

Sex Addict Prism

For me there is nothing more feminine than being on my knees giving head or down on my knees taking a new man into one of my moist openings. We are animals born to breed. Sex is our birth right.

Being a sex addict makes it hard on relationships, as Michael Douglas discovered when he admitted his addiction, upsetting his wife Catherine Zeta-Jones. But, sadly, or happily, depending on your point of view, it is one addiction that has no cure.

A sex addict sees everything through the prism of sex. A stranger across the room is instantly judged, measured, weighed up. Will he – or she – be good in the sack? Does that twinkle in his eye say he is looking back across the room and measuring you up for a potential pas de dieux between the sheets? Like the drug addict craving their next fix, the sex addict waits breathlessly for their next orgasm, that moment when the body melts and the soul becomes one with the universe.

Sex isn’t the forbidden fruit, it is the forbidden happiness we don’t allow ourselves to enjoy. As Bella says in The Secret Life of Girls: People take sex far too seriously. It’s only sex.

image shows sex addict cover for The Secret Life of Girls The Secret Life of Girls is available at all the Amazons for almost nothing.

“I am never disappointed when I read a Chloe Thurlow book. More than the story for me, it is the way Thurlow links sentences and words and images together that astound me. She creates vignettes and scenes that are literally alive with literary genius. I mean this sincerely. I find her to be one of the best contemporary writers of our day. And a champion for the sexual freedom of women at its best and most gritty.” RB O’Brien, Amazon.

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25 Discussions on
“Sex Addict Cure Will Never Be Found – and who wants to?”
    • Thanks, Rachel, Fallen Angels will be out next year with Xcite Books. After all the sweat and tears of Katie in Love, I am happy to have a publisher behind me again. Thanks for you endless support.

  • I thought you had been quiet Chloe, nice to hear from you again. Never would have spotted you as a sex addict :)
    X Trevor

  • Hey Chloe, so glad you’re back!!! I love reading your blog with my morning coffee. Makes me warm and tingly all day long. xxxooo

  • Dear Chloe, are you really a sex addict or you just pretend to be? No offence please, I always ask to be sure. Chloe, I have a question for you: “Do you meditate?” Just curious. I talked to you before.
    In The Book of Secrets (The Science of Meditation) Osho says: “Death always occurs in the present. Death, love, meditation – they all occur in the present. So if you are afraid of death, you cannot love. If you are afraid of love, you cannot meditate. If you are afraid of meditation, your life will be useless. Useless not in the sense of any purpose, but useless in the sense that you will never be able to feel any bliss in it. It will be futile. It may seem strange to connect these three: Love, Meditation, Death. It is not! They are similar experiences. So if you can enter in one, you can enter in the remaining two.”
    So what do you think of it. I’d like to hear your whisper.
    With Love, Michael B-)

    • Michael, it is difficult to distinguish between liking sex a lot and being a sex addict. My father drinks a lot – it goes with his profession – but he is not an alcoholic. People do not fear love, so much as they fear losing it. But once one has loved, they know that love exists and lost love will return again. Meditation, I know, at least I know intellectually, is a valuable, perhaps as essential endeavour, but it is as hard to meditate effectively as it is to love eternally.

      • …hm, interesting. Hold on, did you say somewhere that “Spanking and blowjobs are a meditation, the pathway leading to the inner you”? How effective that “meditation” might be comparing with “loving eternally”? LOL

  • Chloe, so nice of you to answer my questions. I like to talk to you. Hm, scientifically there’s a huge difference between liking sex a lot and being a sex addict. Sex addiction is defined as “any sexually related, compulsive behavior which interferes with normal living and causes severe stress on family, friends, loved ones, and one’s work environment.” I was married to a sex addict for more than 20 years. She was secretly sleeping behind my back not only with my closest friends but with any fucking stranger when I was not around. At the end this addiction in a combination with bipolar disorder ruined everything (life, marriage, prosperity,future). Last year I got divorced before I could go somewhere living under the bridge (no money, no honey, no funny). So sex addiction is a very ruining everything around experience. I hope you are actually not an addict. Because where’s a sexual addiction there’s no LOVE. Ever. At least not a real love. Very often sexual act is not an act of love at all.

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